we're blogging at a bar
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
As shirtless as possible
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
