So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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