If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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