we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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