Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
