Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
