there was a trapeze. enough said
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
