Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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