oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
