It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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