What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
