It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
