I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
