Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
