I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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