dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
