butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize