mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my sisters under your porch take her home
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
