At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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