I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
