So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
