im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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