mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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