From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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