Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
