i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
