Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
