is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
