I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Randomize
