He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
