i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
