Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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