Buhtt sex?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
PANTIES FOUND
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
