you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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