I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
