i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
