So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
