What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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