its not stalking. its research.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
