Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
