ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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