So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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