tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
