I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize