i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
