Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
