Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Your cock deserves a montage
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
