I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
