i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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