1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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