Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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