My hand turned me down
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
