Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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