Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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