I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
