I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize