She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
