I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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