I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
