Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
