I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
