If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
His nipple licking is glorious
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